Leona last year, Leon this year... who will it be next year? Leo?

Bugger the cod operatics of Rhydian. This was the better version on the night, and outside the competition it stands up. Leon has a voice that sounds GREAT on the radio. Hearing his single floating from a shop's tinny transistor on Sunday afternoon, it was as if he had been doing it for longer than the duration of X Factor. And I loves da cheesey song.

Rhydian's version would've sounded awful on the radio: the mannered style is like Marmite, you love or hate it and I can't stand it. But he's a trained singer after all (as he repeatedly told us in the "Pick me! Pick me!" rounds) and will no doubt go on to have a career as a sucessful West End Wendy.

And Leon, the cut-price Michael Buble, will be whisked off to pop star boot camp for a year, given proper vocal coaching and requisite brain washing and come back on next year's X Factor all-conquering. And his people will have only one mantra in their heads: "But would Leona Lewis do it?".

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Today's Christmas song is an hilarious queer romp courtesy of Retro Wonderland. Pansy Division were formed in 1991 with the full intention of being a properly gay band. With a name like that, how could you be anything but? Jon Ginoli, the founding singer, guitarist says: “Instead of being depressed about it, we tried to make music that would make us—and our audience—happy. We could laugh about it, so we put that joy into the music.”

And the funniest, splutter-the-mulled-wine-all-over-yer-mum on hearing it is "Licking nipples, licking nuts, sticking candy canes up our butts". Bona!

Homo Christmas - Pansy Division (zShare)