The creme de la creme

So, on the last day of 2007, here's my liddle ole list to add to the many. Mine is a simple rundown of my favourite 20 tracks. The tracks I would hit repeat on, just because to hear them once is never enough. I may have more by the same artist (Roisin has a whole album of favourites to choose from for example), but to be more various, I've given them one chance to impress. A couple of notable absentees are Robyn - fab songs, too old blah blah - and Kylie - just couldn't get the X factor baby.

1. Double Je - Christophe Willem (zShare)
The boy I thought was a girl was my summer chanson. Lying on the beach in France, my radio tuned into NRJ, this song was played non-stop. And when the singer in residence at Le Bar Six in Nice sang it just for me, that was it. Hooked. Line and sinker. I love the first line where he says his voice sounds just like the Bee Gees (just in case anyone in France living under a stone hadn't heard of him).

2. Call the Shots - Girls Aloud (zShare)
Superfluous to superlatives, except to say I'd always humoured Girls Aloud but after hearing this killer track, and the rest of the album Tangled Up, I became a convert. I am the gay stereotype. When I want to be. But it's a pity I've cursed them now. It seems they'll be going their seperate ways next year.

3. My Great Regret - The Millioners (zShare)
Back in May, I wrote about this lush Lorraine-sounding song. But The Millioners have a sound all their own. The fact that half their tracks are dance instrumentals belies the fact that the lyrics are very narrative and very pop. Another act for Xenomania (as popjustice are wont to say) when GA are no more.

4. Overpowered - Roisin Murphy (zShare)
This was the first track I'd heard from the album of the same name and it heralded a new, previously unheard Roisin Murphy. I'm a sucker for synths and anodine lyrics, so this sleek electro track ticked every box. XO's Middle Eight gave her the Big Ass Pop Star for 2007 Award and he describes the Roe-sheen phenomenon perfectly. And my pop image of the year goes to our Roe freaking Hoxton's Joe Public (esp. that woman holding the water bottle on the right) with her daywear.

5. First Class Riot - The Tough Alliance (zShare)
In April, I wrote about this lovely Swedish duo thoroughly taken with their JoBoxer Beat sound on this marvelous single. And the lead singer ain't half bad too! Phew.

6. Redeem Me - Marc Almond (zShare)
My idol (yes! He really is) bounced back from near tragedy, to produce this corking brand new song written with Marius de Vries. Without bitterness or regret he sings of the man he used to be and always will be. The perfect song every 50 year old performer wished they had written. Probably.

7. Get Around To It - Tracey Thorn (zShare)
This slinky tune is my favourite from her magnificent Out of the Woods album.

8. Undisco Me - Billie Ray Martin (zShare)
A somewhat patchy output from La Ray Martin means that we get monolithic dance tracks like this and then... no more. Come back, Billie!

9. Hometown Glory - Adele (zShare)
Adele is garnering comparisons with every female singer past and present. But with the bravura new single Chasing Pavements, let's just say she's the first and ONLY Adele. This is the track that got me onto the gorgeous Brixton lass.

10. Uptown - Pleasure (zShare)
Fred Ball's second album, Pleasure II comes close to the top of my albums of the year. And his band should have been MUCH bigger in the UK this year.

11. Money - Daggers (zShare)
I want big things to happen with this Manchester band in 2008. Fingers crossed.

12. The Girls Say - Groove Armada (zShare)
Groove Armada surprised everyone with their album Souyndboy Rock: every track a killer. My favourite tracks switch from Lightsonic, Paris, Drop That Thing and Love Sweet Sound to this one. I described it as a hip-hop Human League, but listening again, it could be an electro Outkast. Take your pick.

13. Rock D'Amour - Emmon (zShare)
Emmon knocks around with The Knife and Robyn. If she produces more of this sumptuous, lush and chunky dance sound in 2008 she could be major. Oh. Go on, Emmon!

14. Hanging On - Marsheaux (zShare)
The Greek duo seem to be building a Robyn-like momentum, so expect their album Peek-a-Boo to get a UK re-release in 2009! This was the lead-off single. Glossy, glamorous and Euro-edgy.

15. Void - The Mary Onettes (zShare)
As the segue from summer to autumn, The Mary Onettes provided the perfect soundtrack. Like an urgent-sounding Echo and the Bunnymen round a bonfire they warmed my cockles!

16. Boy Ain't Right - Readers Wifes (zShare)
Here's a potted history of the Readers Wifes (sic). This very British, St Etienne-type track is the best from a great album called Gaslight.

17. Ghosts - Siobahn Donaghy (zShare)
As an introduction to the album of the same name, this backwards vocal atmospheric track was as different as it was retro with lashings of originality and shavings of Kate Bush (!). Apparently she's going to re-promote the album in 2008, as soon as she's got that bloody mistake, Rent out of the way.

18. Secret Sunday Lover - Ali Love (zShare)
Unfortunately, Calvin Harris got all the attention this year, putting Ali in the shade. 'Tis a pity because he's a million times better.

19. Uninvited - Freemasons feat. Bailey Tzuke (zShare)
The Freemasons kept many a diva afloat this year with their super chart-friendly remixes. And this was a welcome self-penned, self-produced track which lit up late summer.

20. The Ghost of Genova Heights - Stars (zShare)
In the abscence of any new material by Captain, the Canadian Stars more than filled the gap!

Image of 2007: NYC by Tricky

BUBBLING UNDER:
Into the Galaxy - Midnight Juggernauts (my original post titled Nice Juggs gets loads of hits. Wonder why.)

Wow - Kylie (there she is!)

Better In Time - Leona Lewis (ten times better than the first single)

A Modern Midnight Conversation - The Chemical Brothers (my favourite from a brilliant album)

Can't Get Over - September (you can sing Call the Shots over this. Fact!)

Change - Sugababes (sublime).

Blink and you will miss it!

Electrovamp are getting the attention they need to make this a big fat hit. But I hope they're not a flash in the pan and that the next single doesn't sound like this fresh debut re-fried. I don't want to rain on the parade or anything, but it's always a danger with catchy 'novelty' sounding tracks. They're a couple of brand new characters, just what the clubs and the charts need at the beginning of another year. Bon chance, girls!

I Don't Like The Vibe In The VIP (Jack Rokka Club Mix) - Electrovamp (zShare)

Balls to Christmas

Not really! But these are my lovely baubles hanging at the window. I'm off to my mother's for Christmas today and there's no internet connection. Shock, horror! But that's a good thing actually.

It leaves me one more chance to give upload one more Christmas song. In fact it's a trio! My favourite festive players, The Hollyridge Strings, performing 3 classics in their own camp way.

Santa Claus is Coming to Town - The Hollyridge Strings (zShare)

Santa's Got a Brand New Bag - The Hollyridge Strings (zShare)

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas - The Hollyridge Strings (zShare)

I may get a chance to do a wee post on Christmas Day, but until then, from me and The Rockettes from my tree, let me wish all of you a VERY HAPPY CHRISTMAS!

worrapolava xxx

Can't speak, I've got snow in me gob

Can't Speak French - Girls Aloud, Friday Night Xmas Project, Channel 4, Dec 2007
Why does TV insist on using that polystyrene fake snow. It looks shit and it's near choking the poor Girls Aloud as they perform Can't Speak French. Clever Cheryl, though, hides the Alps forming on her lip gloss with the mike. After a shaky start by Nadine - it's too low, love - they get into their stride. And the blokes are a bit tasty too.

Christmas time, Girls Aloud and wine...

Those darling Girls Aloud have just been the guest hosts of Channel 4's The Friday Night Project, and vare funny they were too. Being good sports they dressed up and fooled around, like this nativity scene above singing A Gay in a Manger with Alan Carr (the poove in the manger) and Justin Lee Collins. And until the clips appear on YouTube, who knew Nicola was so ballsy and good at the goofy acting malarky. Sarah Hard-on (as Alan kept calling her) had a few too many Chardonnays, but she's a happy drunk, so that's OK. Cheryl was sweet as cheryl pie. Kimberley's voice is getting lower and lower. And I still can't understand a word Nadine says.

P.S. they did a fab choreographed version of Can't Speak French. The new single methinks.

Christmas Selection Box

That's it! Work done. Finished. And relax. Well, until you're wherever you're going to for Christmas. I'm off back home to Newcastle, yes folks. I'm one of them there Geordies complete with accent. I left work early and came through Chelsea which was heaving with office parties spilling out of pubs and posh old women, all fur coat and no knickers, poking their way down Kings Road. Anyhoo, here's a few small stocking fillers for today.

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Bitchslapped for Christmas. Season's Greetings from EastEnders.

Yawnzzzz. Crap characters no one could give a fig for. Bring back Den 'n' Ang (from the dead of course).

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It Doesn't Often Snow at Christmas - Pet Shop Boys,
TFI Friday, C4, Dec 2000



Ropey vocals from Neil. I think it's too high, love! This is from that Chris Evans show but Dame Elton introduces the Boys. Oh, he is funny with his quick one-liners. And see Chris Lowe dressed as Wizzard.

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Gawd! Ain't they ugly!

Mine and La Corgan's paths never really crossed when they were populaire. I was too into dance music and they were a million miles away on some faux goth planet. But the meeting of minds came when I heard this a couple of years ago. It's bloody lovely! Here's today's Christmas song for ya!
Christmastime - Smashing Pumpkins (zShare)

Kiki and Herb stick it in the Shepherd's Bush for Christmas

Kiki and Herb: Stick a Yule Log in the Shepherd's Bush, Shepherd's Bush Empire, London, December 19th 2007

Have you ever seen that naff horror film Black Christmas? Not the 2006 remake but the 70s original. The paper-thin plot sees a group of sorority sisters staying together for Christmas being terrorised by nasty phone calls. A housemate goes missing and then they all start getting brutally murdered one by one... This movie crossed my mind several times during Kiki and Herb's deranged show at Shepherd's Bush Empire last night.

The beautifully insane Kiki DuRane and her 'Jewtard' accompanist, Herb E began suitably with My Chemical Romance's The Black Parade and maniacal medley of Nina Simone's Sinner Man and Kanye's Stronger. Using the nativity as their theme, went on to explain how she and Herb were actually born Naomi and Ishkabibble in the Middle East, in 12B.C. In fact, Kiki (nee Naomi) went on to become the first lover of Jesus Christ - in serious competition with that 'bitch' Mary Magdelene. They were here to tell the tale because they had drunk milk from the cow in Jesus' manger which had elixir-type qualities. And in her everlasting lifetime, a highlight was becoming a lover of Adolf Hitler, until he lost it, became bitter, twisted and Jew-hating through only having one ball.

This black and blasphemous theme was at the core of the show. Tori Amos' Crucify popped up as did a soul-ripping chorus of Depeche Mode's Blasphemous Rumours. But despite the shrugged indifference to any mention real emotion, Kiki does actually have a heart. Getting lost in the alcoholic monologue rants, she wails over the modern troubles of the world which rest heavy on her wizened bony shoulders.

In the second half of the show, we're back with the baby Jesus and talking about child murders. Gulp. JonBenet Ramsey apparently "knew too much". You could "see it in her eyes" and comparing her to "that other one, whasername?" (Britian, don't read this) Madeline McCann, or "McCacacaca" as she put it. Gasp. The fact that the audience accepts these knive-edge monologues is testament to Kiki and Herb's act. No one either does it, nor does it as well. A story about Herb being gang-raped in a mental institution is at once tragic "he was screaming for me in his death throes", comic "outside the infirmary, his little hiney hole itched and twitched" and neo-religious "and the one set of footprints behind him was because they were mine as I CARRIED HIM!".

This was a pivotal show for the pair. The place was packed to the rafters with a crowd who has loved and grown with them who cheered the old K&H favourites which were mixed with the new. But where to now? The homorati were out in force, as were their girlfriends, who it seemed were being introduced to K&H by their GBFs. The Feeling's Dan was there (is he stalking me?) as was Pam Ann. The straight-ish celebs were represented by a beany-hatted (to disguise those giveaway corkscrew curls) Alan 'Jonathan Creek' Davies (argh! Don't bite me!) and the teeny Daniel Radcliffe.

Interesting factoid, Harry Potter is a HUGE Kiki and Herb fan. And what a lovely young man he is! My friend knew his friend, blah, blah and after introducing himself with a shouty "I'm Dan!" he went on to say he plays their double Carnegie Hall concert CD all the time. When I told him I had been there at the 2004 'farewell' show his jaw hit the floor. Expect to see him at the series of Washington shows next March then.





Anyhoo, in 2000, the pair released a Christmas CD, Do You Hear What We Hear? , which contained the folowing two tracks which make up today's Christmas song offerings:
Fox in the Snow/Holiday - Kiki and Herb (zShare)

Frosty the Snowman - Kiki and Herb (zShare)

Last Christmas (version 217 and counting)

Whoa! Go easy on Rudolph there, George-ous!

With their chunky knits and chunkier hair George-ous Michael and Andrew Ridgely were on course to top the UK charts in December 1984 as the cherry on the cake to their fab year. And then along came Band Aid. Last Christmas was kept off number 1 and has never bothered the top since. But bloody hell, it's never stopped selling. There's a lot of kerchinging every day when it's played a million times and downloaded like buggery around the world.

And the universal obsession doesn't stop there. This brilliant site, called, funnily enough, last-christmas.com has painstakingly and lovingly put together as many cover versions of Wham!'s festive favourite. Think of a genre and it's covered. They've even started a list of artists who HAVEN'T done it.

Come Boxing Day, I start listening to the original b-side Everything Thing She Wants.

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Today's Christmas song comes courtesy of last-christmas.com and in keeping with the theme, there are more than one...

Last Christmas - Britt Nicole (zShare) - she's Christian Rock, apparently, but hey ho, it's actually a very listenable sub-Kelly Clarkson!

Last Christmas - Mon)tag (zShare) - a creatively different electro/folk thing.

A Christmas Message from The Queen

Please be standing. His Royal Sleazeness, Marc Almond has a Christmas message for the whole land on his brand spanking new site: clicky here for a looksee. Go to the NEWS section (dated 15th December) for his festive best wishes and round-up of what has been a tremendous and milestone year for him. That dreadful accident left him virtually for dead. It was awful. But 2007 has seen him ever more productive and creative. The results of which were the amazing Stardom Road album, the hugely memorable 50th (!) birthday concert in London, the sold out UK tour and a myriad of high profile guest appearances all over the shop.

Of his first tentative shows this year at Wilton's Music Hall in London he says: "Wilton's is a special, atmospheric place; a London Jewel under threat. It feels like a performing home to me and I hope to return there regularly." And his momentous birthday concert at Shepherd's Bush Empire I reported here: "It was a brilliant evening that I shall never forget, one of my best ever shows. It was a milestone day, my 50th birthday, and the fact that I was alive to celebrate it made it more special."

I think I'm going to cry.

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Today's Christmas song isn't a Eurovision special but a George Harrison 70s chug-along. It's like that record the whole pub sing along to in Educating Rita: it sounds familiar but was never really a hit. Written for his 1974 album, Dark Horse, like a lot of George's stuff, it's infectiously catchy. Marv.

Ding Dong, Ding Dong - George Harrison (zShare)

Leona last year, Leon this year... who will it be next year? Leo?

Bugger the cod operatics of Rhydian. This was the better version on the night, and outside the competition it stands up. Leon has a voice that sounds GREAT on the radio. Hearing his single floating from a shop's tinny transistor on Sunday afternoon, it was as if he had been doing it for longer than the duration of X Factor. And I loves da cheesey song.

Rhydian's version would've sounded awful on the radio: the mannered style is like Marmite, you love or hate it and I can't stand it. But he's a trained singer after all (as he repeatedly told us in the "Pick me! Pick me!" rounds) and will no doubt go on to have a career as a sucessful West End Wendy.

And Leon, the cut-price Michael Buble, will be whisked off to pop star boot camp for a year, given proper vocal coaching and requisite brain washing and come back on next year's X Factor all-conquering. And his people will have only one mantra in their heads: "But would Leona Lewis do it?".

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Today's Christmas song is an hilarious queer romp courtesy of Retro Wonderland. Pansy Division were formed in 1991 with the full intention of being a properly gay band. With a name like that, how could you be anything but? Jon Ginoli, the founding singer, guitarist says: “Instead of being depressed about it, we tried to make music that would make us—and our audience—happy. We could laugh about it, so we put that joy into the music.”

And the funniest, splutter-the-mulled-wine-all-over-yer-mum on hearing it is "Licking nipples, licking nuts, sticking candy canes up our butts". Bona!

Homo Christmas - Pansy Division (zShare)