We got wood!

Ruby Romaine (like the lettuce) finds herself on a porn set: "What's a fluffer? Really? We used to call 'em starlets."

Ruby 'Starmaker' Romaine fluffs the star!

Blog-a-rolla

It's time to have a wander 'round the house to see what's up...

A gratuitous shot of The League to tie in with one of the stories below. Don't they look very on-trend? Marv.

Over on the exquisitely written, Shang-A-Lang, Bengobaz/Chelsea Kelsey is leaving Virgin Records after FIFTEEN years. It sounds like a Groundhog Day of leaving lunches with everyone wanting their piece of him. And in a weirdly parallel turn of events, his fella, Fints, is being made redundant about now but they're both really excited. I can empathise totally, I was made redundant in January (and told just before Christmas, which was nice), but I KNEW it would turn out to be a blessing in disguise: I'm now in a job with more money, less hours and less stress. How did that happen?

The most unassuming 'Exclusive' ever. Chartrigger has an interview with the very grounded pop star, Dan Gillespie of The Feeling. Jason D'Luv's questions are easy-going and conversational which garner such gem-like answers as Trevor Horn producing a track, how he has a new beau and how he hearts The Human League.

I love, love, love the music dofrood1 brings to the table. The latest blog has the, frankly brilliant t-shirt-tastic, Justice video for D.A.N.C.E.

Who else but vare funny Hotstuff Files can call a post Arse Biscuits about Nerina Pallot. The most recent post has a round-up of vids from T4 On the Beach in preparation for this year's extravaganza.

XO's Middle Eight has some AMAY-ZING shots of the hardly-ever-pictured-Gabor-like star, Queen Madge. My fave is number 13: the cold, steely Madonna we imagine looking at that very version in the mirror. She looks like she's holding a mobile phone BEFORE mobile phones. Genius.

We've all been there. That flatmate/room mate from hell. The one that uses their parents as the rear guard as they expend all their energy making our life a misery. Aira37 at Make yourself a cigarette, fix yourself a drink needs our support!

Tricky has an international affair possibly going on. How very Julie Christie: mysterious, full of intrigue, totally captivating and holds her own on foreign soil. Haha!

And all of us like finding a new FUNNY gayer blog. Apologies if you've read it already, otherwise, I give you Glitter For Brains.

Bring your coochie down, put your coochie up!

Oh this BBQ clip is so ZESTY! No, this clip is BRUTI-FUL.

Why-can't-my-baby-can't-get-the-dress-to-show-off-her-junk?

Who ate all the pies?

Milla Jovovich! And Greggs the Bakers ones at that. Honest! In a story only a PR for a northern bakery could make up, Milla confesses her "dangerous love" for a Greggs' Cheese and Onion Pasty (Corned Beef too!). I know EXACTLY where she's coming from. As someone who was weaned on these savoury delights from the Newcastle bakers, I know how a) more-ish and addictive they are - I buy 2 at a time and b) how dangerous they are - it's flavoured fat basically.

This could be her actual review. But it's probably not.

This is why I heart Amy

An edited, 'best bits' version of La Winehouse on Never Mind the Buzzcocks last year.

Amy, you got mail...

LOVE this pic of La Winehouse: the skanky borstal tattoo, the yellow bra and the look on hers and the postman's faces as she peeps out from behind her ex-local authority flat door. My guess is that the package is a Charlotte Church promo.

Whilst I'm not a fan of her musique, I love her personality and larger than life hairdon't. Even before the 'hive, when the Frank album launched her, I would avidly lap up any TV appearance, mag interview or radio gig. And still her circus keeps on going; the London papers were full of her shenanigans before and during her gig the Dublin Castle as part of the Camden Crawl.

"If you trust me. This can be the number one club in the world"

Carmen D'Alessio said the above in an attempt to persuade Ian Schrager and Steve Rubell to back her and Uva Harden's dream of opening the now legendary Studio 54 in NYC. Margaux Hemingway, Brooke Shields, Bianca Jagger, Cher, Dians Ross, Liza Minelli, Grace Jones: the names read like a who's who of seventies disco bunnies all going wild in the coke-fuelled fun palace. Sweet and unsavoury stories abound in this great BBC Radio 2 documentary Behind the Velvet Rope: Studio 54 Uncovered narrated by Boy George. Although there is a fantastic legacy left by the club, the whole door policy; ie, the 'face fits' casting was the most unwelcome. At the time, I was 6 years old, lived in Newcastle upon Tyne and STILL they wouldn't let me in. Tsk.

There are loads of other documentaries available to play while you're jumping 'round the worldwide web. Go here. From Monday, after it airs tonight, that link should also take you to the archived Morrisey doc, The Salford Lad by Stuart Maconie.

And if you want even more these BBC Radio 1 documentaries are well worth a perusal and a listen.

New Unklejam vid!

My tenth ever post way, way back on February 21st mentioned the fabulous Unklejam. I also said that What Am I Fighting For was one of my favourite tracks of theirs and, ta-dah! They must have read that post and thought, "Blimey, we'd better hurry up and get Love Ya out of the way, three weeks MAX in the charts and then shoot a vid for What Am I Fighting For and put that out as a single tout suite! Phew. So glad we saw that Worrapolava blog or we'd be right up shit creek and no mistake". Maybe.

The (Un) shock of the new

I worry sometimes. I worry that there isn't anything musically that sounds brand new. Don't get me wrong, I'm not being a jaded 'heard-it-all-before' because there's tons of new music which sounds as fresh and as exciting as only new music should. No, what I'm looking for sometimes, and never find, is music which has NEVER been heard before.

A great article in The Guardian sees Maddy Costa declaring, a bit lemon-lipped, "This year's bestsellers have provided plenty of reason for gloom about our ability to produce forward-looking music"; ie, they're cherry-picking musical styles from the past. That may be true, but there's nothing wrong with it when the music is so strong.

I'm not naive enough to think that one day there will be a track or song which suddenly appears. BRAND NEW music appears in tiny amounts and gathers pace like a snowball until a scene or genre forms. As a generation with sixty years of popular recorded music we're in a unique position of being able to to rob like a magpie, just picking up the shiny bits if we want. But how did the shiny bits - the new bits - ever come about? There are no new intruments to start another revolution like the electric guitar and the synthesizer. But having already spawned the dance music monster, Paul Morley correctly predicts that it will be the computer, specifically the internet, which drags us out of our current musical rut: "We've got the new thing - we just haven't been looking in the right place for it."

Tit (bits)

"D'YOU LIKE THAT, ABI?"
UK readers will know the above as an oft-heard phrase in the John Leslie household, either while being shagged senseless or snorting a line. Either way, you could legitimately level it at Ms. Titmus as she is given the boot on Deadline tonight. And quite rightly so. There's only so far you can go with fluttering eyelashes and simpering smiles and NO work.
True story:
Abi: Oh gawd. I was in the Daily Star, the Mirror AND The Sun today! All they want are pictures of me and all I want is something to eat. I'm starving. Where can I go tonight where I won't get papped?
Me: Home?
Abi: Erm? What?
Me: OK. There's a kebab shop in Hackney...
*she walks away*

SIMON COWELL HAS A FEW BOB.
Word reaches us via every media source that Simon Cowell can now officially afford to buy a better life for hundreds of thousands of families. His earnings have topped £100 million ($200,287,388.39). But, like the selfish bastard he is, he's keeping it all to himself and even having a laugh at Robbie 'Pov' Williams along the way. Tsk. *Rolls eyes heavenwards*

ALL BETS OFF FOR SUMMER NUMBER ONE
This is going to be number one for AGES. This mix sounds like Lou Pearlman has a new set of bumboys to rent out, but no! This is a band doing 'nice remix, shame about the band' (Cornershop, anyone?) and scoring a big fat commercial pop hit. AWFUL name though. Hellogoodbye? Hello?
Here In Your Arms - Hellogoodbye (mp3)

And finally, Lisa I'Anson...
Here's a face for radio.
Well, it would be if she didn't keep getting sacked!