Kiki and Herb stick it in the Shepherd's Bush for Christmas

Kiki and Herb: Stick a Yule Log in the Shepherd's Bush, Shepherd's Bush Empire, London, December 19th 2007

Have you ever seen that naff horror film Black Christmas? Not the 2006 remake but the 70s original. The paper-thin plot sees a group of sorority sisters staying together for Christmas being terrorised by nasty phone calls. A housemate goes missing and then they all start getting brutally murdered one by one... This movie crossed my mind several times during Kiki and Herb's deranged show at Shepherd's Bush Empire last night.

The beautifully insane Kiki DuRane and her 'Jewtard' accompanist, Herb E began suitably with My Chemical Romance's The Black Parade and maniacal medley of Nina Simone's Sinner Man and Kanye's Stronger. Using the nativity as their theme, went on to explain how she and Herb were actually born Naomi and Ishkabibble in the Middle East, in 12B.C. In fact, Kiki (nee Naomi) went on to become the first lover of Jesus Christ - in serious competition with that 'bitch' Mary Magdelene. They were here to tell the tale because they had drunk milk from the cow in Jesus' manger which had elixir-type qualities. And in her everlasting lifetime, a highlight was becoming a lover of Adolf Hitler, until he lost it, became bitter, twisted and Jew-hating through only having one ball.

This black and blasphemous theme was at the core of the show. Tori Amos' Crucify popped up as did a soul-ripping chorus of Depeche Mode's Blasphemous Rumours. But despite the shrugged indifference to any mention real emotion, Kiki does actually have a heart. Getting lost in the alcoholic monologue rants, she wails over the modern troubles of the world which rest heavy on her wizened bony shoulders.

In the second half of the show, we're back with the baby Jesus and talking about child murders. Gulp. JonBenet Ramsey apparently "knew too much". You could "see it in her eyes" and comparing her to "that other one, whasername?" (Britian, don't read this) Madeline McCann, or "McCacacaca" as she put it. Gasp. The fact that the audience accepts these knive-edge monologues is testament to Kiki and Herb's act. No one either does it, nor does it as well. A story about Herb being gang-raped in a mental institution is at once tragic "he was screaming for me in his death throes", comic "outside the infirmary, his little hiney hole itched and twitched" and neo-religious "and the one set of footprints behind him was because they were mine as I CARRIED HIM!".

This was a pivotal show for the pair. The place was packed to the rafters with a crowd who has loved and grown with them who cheered the old K&H favourites which were mixed with the new. But where to now? The homorati were out in force, as were their girlfriends, who it seemed were being introduced to K&H by their GBFs. The Feeling's Dan was there (is he stalking me?) as was Pam Ann. The straight-ish celebs were represented by a beany-hatted (to disguise those giveaway corkscrew curls) Alan 'Jonathan Creek' Davies (argh! Don't bite me!) and the teeny Daniel Radcliffe.

Interesting factoid, Harry Potter is a HUGE Kiki and Herb fan. And what a lovely young man he is! My friend knew his friend, blah, blah and after introducing himself with a shouty "I'm Dan!" he went on to say he plays their double Carnegie Hall concert CD all the time. When I told him I had been there at the 2004 'farewell' show his jaw hit the floor. Expect to see him at the series of Washington shows next March then.





Anyhoo, in 2000, the pair released a Christmas CD, Do You Hear What We Hear? , which contained the folowing two tracks which make up today's Christmas song offerings:
Fox in the Snow/Holiday - Kiki and Herb (zShare)

Frosty the Snowman - Kiki and Herb (zShare)