"Blue? Blue ooh?"

MARBELLA BELLES - ITV1, Tuesdays 10.00pm

OMG everything is curling! The cringiest, funniest reality (!) show in ages! I found this clip of the show being reprised on the brilliant Harry Hill's TV Burp.

Marbella Belles follows the vacuous lives of five champagne-fuelled, tanorexic, acid-stripped, surgery-enhanced, painted-taloned, coiffeured forty/fifty-somethings in, guess where, Marbella, Spain. And aren't they a joy to behold. One of them, Lisa Johnson, 38 *splutter, yeah right*, doesn't work "'Cos I decided I didn't want to anymowah!". She swears at her son to stop swearing, has a ciggie in her gob whilst getting a facial and forgets she's actually a mum to her baby son called Blue: "Blue? Blue ooh?... Ow! The baaaaby!".

I am in pleats watching this show. It's one enormous freak show. They all clearly hate each other, and I bet when the cameras go they sit, head-in-hands and WEEP! Gawd!