Boy George is gay...

...and he has bumsex! He sometimes pays a rentboy to come around to his flat, you know, one that *advertised* such services on Gaydar.

Like the other George, he'll always get his face in the papers with stuff like this. He courts controversy because he does controversial things. He's famous and gets horny. But what was probably a good idea on a truck full of drugs turns out to be a big old come-down the next day and a right old pain in the arse (he wishes). The press have actually been remarkably lighthearted and, dare I say it, grown up about the story. Amelle from The Sugababes (silly cow) won the column inches and the revulsion today.

Auden Carlsen, the 28 year old (yeah right) prozza has made the most of it. Looking suitably sad he's milked it for all it's worth. Good luck to him, I suppose. He was probably genuinely scared (who wouldn't be - George is HUGE!) but he's also seen an opportunity for dirty cash money and grabbed it.

Next time, George, when it says "Vanilla only" they aren't talking about Häagen-Dazs.

Tough n' stuff

These very good looking boys are called The Tough Alliance (aka TTA) and they have baggage. Henning Fürst and Eric Berglund already have an album, The New School, under their belts and a reputation in their home country of Sweden for being a bit rowdy. But, really, even though their brand of electronic pop has an edge, it's kind of diluted by the mummy's boy classic synth duo looks.

This new track on vid, above, is First Class Riot (the diction's not quite there, but I can forgive that boy ANYTHING) and sees them move on stylistically. It's still pure modern pop, but there's a distinct 80s Joboxers and Adam Ant influence there. It's a great video too. Clever and sexy.

Here's a couple of tracks from last year:
Holiday - The Tough Alliance (mp3 download)
Koka-kola Veins - The Tough Alliance (mp3 download)

Robbie's career R.I.P.

As much as I really liked Rudebox the rest of the world hated it. So much so, the whole debacle has sounded a death knell for his career. The news that he's about to start working with 50 Cent and become his BEE-ATCH is surely the gathering of the nails for the coffin. The mono-thought, mono-tone grunt machine that is 50 Cent is a BAD CHOICE. He also shoots people. We'll never see headlines like this again.

Sound as a pound

I thought I had my albums of the year in Pleasure's Pleasure II and Robyn's UK re-issue but then this one sneaks up and bites me on the bum - which ain't pretty let me tells ya! I know there's been loads of waffle an' t'ing about this forthcoming album, and because of who it was I clicked right past. But then. Over on SIART (bless 'im) there was a taster of this album in his regular Funky Friday giveaway:

Can you believe it? Drop That Thing got me searching for more of Groove Armada's Soundboy Rocks. Available on pre-order here (released May 7th). Although their track from ages ago My Friend is one of my favourite songs in a top 2,000 of favourite songs, it was still a one hit wonder in my eyes. I can't stand Superstylin' and the car ad one is akin to being continually poked with a shitty stick.

I've always fancied the one on the right, ack-chew-ally.

Try this track below and you'll see what I mean. It's a clever mix of Europop and dub. It follows the dub rules of building layer upon layer of sound (the beat doesn't even kick in until nearly a minute) but it has a killer Europop type chorus with synth washes any Swedish pop star would die for.

Lightsonic - Groove Armada (mp3 download)

And this one is like Human League doing hip hop. Imagine! GEN-IUS!

The Girls Say - Groove Armada (mp3 download)

And over at the Groove Armada website there is a track called Paris that a certain someone will go moist for because of the gorgeous strings.

We got wood!

Ruby Romaine (like the lettuce) finds herself on a porn set: "What's a fluffer? Really? We used to call 'em starlets."

Ruby 'Starmaker' Romaine fluffs the star!

Blog-a-rolla

It's time to have a wander 'round the house to see what's up...

A gratuitous shot of The League to tie in with one of the stories below. Don't they look very on-trend? Marv.

Over on the exquisitely written, Shang-A-Lang, Bengobaz/Chelsea Kelsey is leaving Virgin Records after FIFTEEN years. It sounds like a Groundhog Day of leaving lunches with everyone wanting their piece of him. And in a weirdly parallel turn of events, his fella, Fints, is being made redundant about now but they're both really excited. I can empathise totally, I was made redundant in January (and told just before Christmas, which was nice), but I KNEW it would turn out to be a blessing in disguise: I'm now in a job with more money, less hours and less stress. How did that happen?

The most unassuming 'Exclusive' ever. Chartrigger has an interview with the very grounded pop star, Dan Gillespie of The Feeling. Jason D'Luv's questions are easy-going and conversational which garner such gem-like answers as Trevor Horn producing a track, how he has a new beau and how he hearts The Human League.

I love, love, love the music dofrood1 brings to the table. The latest blog has the, frankly brilliant t-shirt-tastic, Justice video for D.A.N.C.E.

Who else but vare funny Hotstuff Files can call a post Arse Biscuits about Nerina Pallot. The most recent post has a round-up of vids from T4 On the Beach in preparation for this year's extravaganza.

XO's Middle Eight has some AMAY-ZING shots of the hardly-ever-pictured-Gabor-like star, Queen Madge. My fave is number 13: the cold, steely Madonna we imagine looking at that very version in the mirror. She looks like she's holding a mobile phone BEFORE mobile phones. Genius.

We've all been there. That flatmate/room mate from hell. The one that uses their parents as the rear guard as they expend all their energy making our life a misery. Aira37 at Make yourself a cigarette, fix yourself a drink needs our support!

Tricky has an international affair possibly going on. How very Julie Christie: mysterious, full of intrigue, totally captivating and holds her own on foreign soil. Haha!

And all of us like finding a new FUNNY gayer blog. Apologies if you've read it already, otherwise, I give you Glitter For Brains.

Bring your coochie down, put your coochie up!

Oh this BBQ clip is so ZESTY! No, this clip is BRUTI-FUL.

Why-can't-my-baby-can't-get-the-dress-to-show-off-her-junk?

Who ate all the pies?

Milla Jovovich! And Greggs the Bakers ones at that. Honest! In a story only a PR for a northern bakery could make up, Milla confesses her "dangerous love" for a Greggs' Cheese and Onion Pasty (Corned Beef too!). I know EXACTLY where she's coming from. As someone who was weaned on these savoury delights from the Newcastle bakers, I know how a) more-ish and addictive they are - I buy 2 at a time and b) how dangerous they are - it's flavoured fat basically.

This could be her actual review. But it's probably not.

This is why I heart Amy

An edited, 'best bits' version of La Winehouse on Never Mind the Buzzcocks last year.

Amy, you got mail...

LOVE this pic of La Winehouse: the skanky borstal tattoo, the yellow bra and the look on hers and the postman's faces as she peeps out from behind her ex-local authority flat door. My guess is that the package is a Charlotte Church promo.

Whilst I'm not a fan of her musique, I love her personality and larger than life hairdon't. Even before the 'hive, when the Frank album launched her, I would avidly lap up any TV appearance, mag interview or radio gig. And still her circus keeps on going; the London papers were full of her shenanigans before and during her gig the Dublin Castle as part of the Camden Crawl.

"If you trust me. This can be the number one club in the world"

Carmen D'Alessio said the above in an attempt to persuade Ian Schrager and Steve Rubell to back her and Uva Harden's dream of opening the now legendary Studio 54 in NYC. Margaux Hemingway, Brooke Shields, Bianca Jagger, Cher, Dians Ross, Liza Minelli, Grace Jones: the names read like a who's who of seventies disco bunnies all going wild in the coke-fuelled fun palace. Sweet and unsavoury stories abound in this great BBC Radio 2 documentary Behind the Velvet Rope: Studio 54 Uncovered narrated by Boy George. Although there is a fantastic legacy left by the club, the whole door policy; ie, the 'face fits' casting was the most unwelcome. At the time, I was 6 years old, lived in Newcastle upon Tyne and STILL they wouldn't let me in. Tsk.

There are loads of other documentaries available to play while you're jumping 'round the worldwide web. Go here. From Monday, after it airs tonight, that link should also take you to the archived Morrisey doc, The Salford Lad by Stuart Maconie.

And if you want even more these BBC Radio 1 documentaries are well worth a perusal and a listen.

New Unklejam vid!

My tenth ever post way, way back on February 21st mentioned the fabulous Unklejam. I also said that What Am I Fighting For was one of my favourite tracks of theirs and, ta-dah! They must have read that post and thought, "Blimey, we'd better hurry up and get Love Ya out of the way, three weeks MAX in the charts and then shoot a vid for What Am I Fighting For and put that out as a single tout suite! Phew. So glad we saw that Worrapolava blog or we'd be right up shit creek and no mistake". Maybe.

The (Un) shock of the new

I worry sometimes. I worry that there isn't anything musically that sounds brand new. Don't get me wrong, I'm not being a jaded 'heard-it-all-before' because there's tons of new music which sounds as fresh and as exciting as only new music should. No, what I'm looking for sometimes, and never find, is music which has NEVER been heard before.

A great article in The Guardian sees Maddy Costa declaring, a bit lemon-lipped, "This year's bestsellers have provided plenty of reason for gloom about our ability to produce forward-looking music"; ie, they're cherry-picking musical styles from the past. That may be true, but there's nothing wrong with it when the music is so strong.

I'm not naive enough to think that one day there will be a track or song which suddenly appears. BRAND NEW music appears in tiny amounts and gathers pace like a snowball until a scene or genre forms. As a generation with sixty years of popular recorded music we're in a unique position of being able to to rob like a magpie, just picking up the shiny bits if we want. But how did the shiny bits - the new bits - ever come about? There are no new intruments to start another revolution like the electric guitar and the synthesizer. But having already spawned the dance music monster, Paul Morley correctly predicts that it will be the computer, specifically the internet, which drags us out of our current musical rut: "We've got the new thing - we just haven't been looking in the right place for it."

Tit (bits)

"D'YOU LIKE THAT, ABI?"
UK readers will know the above as an oft-heard phrase in the John Leslie household, either while being shagged senseless or snorting a line. Either way, you could legitimately level it at Ms. Titmus as she is given the boot on Deadline tonight. And quite rightly so. There's only so far you can go with fluttering eyelashes and simpering smiles and NO work.
True story:
Abi: Oh gawd. I was in the Daily Star, the Mirror AND The Sun today! All they want are pictures of me and all I want is something to eat. I'm starving. Where can I go tonight where I won't get papped?
Me: Home?
Abi: Erm? What?
Me: OK. There's a kebab shop in Hackney...
*she walks away*

SIMON COWELL HAS A FEW BOB.
Word reaches us via every media source that Simon Cowell can now officially afford to buy a better life for hundreds of thousands of families. His earnings have topped £100 million ($200,287,388.39). But, like the selfish bastard he is, he's keeping it all to himself and even having a laugh at Robbie 'Pov' Williams along the way. Tsk. *Rolls eyes heavenwards*

ALL BETS OFF FOR SUMMER NUMBER ONE
This is going to be number one for AGES. This mix sounds like Lou Pearlman has a new set of bumboys to rent out, but no! This is a band doing 'nice remix, shame about the band' (Cornershop, anyone?) and scoring a big fat commercial pop hit. AWFUL name though. Hellogoodbye? Hello?
Here In Your Arms - Hellogoodbye (mp3)

And finally, Lisa I'Anson...
Here's a face for radio.
Well, it would be if she didn't keep getting sacked!

Peekabooty!

Although it's been available here for a few weeks, I got my new Marsheaux CD Peekaboo today. And look at the gorgeous packaging.

The liner notes come in the form of this paper bag with holes for eyes. Cute! There's an invitation to put it on and send the pic to their MySpace, here. I haven't yet, but I am thinking of just going out in it in general. It'll go down a treat in Hoxton: "OMG! Where'd you get that hat/bag etc." I'll start my own fashion moment and then it'll be front cover of i-D magazine - finger placed over right eyehole obviously.

See here for my first posting about the Greek duo who write and produce their own stuff and a video of Hanging On where a very icy madam involved in a lesbionic story dons the Peekaboo paper bag. Here's a taster from said album!

What You Don't Like - Marsheaux (mp3)

Lisa I'Anson gets Street-Portered

Deadline - ITV 2

I facking love this show. In another pop will eat itself moment, a bunch of celebs are given a celeb mag to produce - being given away by Closer - and edited by Janet "FACK ORF" Street-Porter. At last, the great JSP has been given the TV platform she needed to show off those coarse and verbose, gutteral pronouncements.

In this clip she sacks the stroppy one. Now. Lisa I'Anson. What is the point of this woman? She is 'friends' to everyone and more than likely a friend of no one. She's a selfish, self-obsessed conniving cow - I hold no punches here. Her passive aggressiveness is quite transparent in this clip: "Yeah darling, I agree. I thought I had changed, but..." but when none of it washes, watch her real self come out at the very end: "The rest of ya can FUCK OFF!" She's lovely she is.

I love JSP's parting flea in Lisa's ear: "You are a bullshit artist, now get out of here."

Cue applause.

Nice things (part 2)

Robyn. Mad as a box of frogs. It's a step-up from I'm a Little Teapot, I suppose.

"Can you hold my pint for me please. I can't at the mo."

Nice things (part 1)

Nice music: Stigmato Inc.
For the best trumpet this side of Torch/Westend Girls try this Barcelona outfit's Reality Check. With vocals supplied (sampled?) by Danna Leese, a Washington jazz singer. It's funky and gorgeous.


Reality Check - Stigmato Inc. (mp3)

Pop will eat itself

Barney! Barney! Barney! Oof! There's a spitting 'n' hissing bitch slapping going on... or is there? Lily Allen has had her knockers (fnar) in the past, but still they come. Along with Kate Nash, The Klaxons, Mr Hudson & the Library, Maccabees, Doherty and Just Jack, she's namechecked in the vare funny tune LDN IS A VICTIM which takes the piss out of the mockney masses. The title splices together Lily's LDN and Kate's Caroline is a Victim. Go to the LDN IS A VICTIM MySpace to listen to it and to start the story...

Because the people behind it are so anonymous, there's more than speculation that it's all just one big wind up. But Lily Allen does seem genuinely mad as a cat in a bag.
NME.com has the gist and Lily's (over)reaction to it and The Guardian goes into more detail. If anything, it's just funny to see someone take the piss and get a rise out of someone else. Vare British and vare Ldn.

And then, the last bon mot has to go to, The Word Editor, David Hepworth. Many a true word... Hahahahaha.

Electro dreams

Aaaah, the sharp, ice cool taste of electro; served chilled to the bone with a dash of clipped accent and slice of Euro women.


CLIENT
The UK threesome have been ploughing their pure electro furrow for a while now, and most gorgeous readers of this blog will own and cherish most of their songs. One little fact that I was unaware of until doing this post is that Emily Strange (Client E), on the left, was a contestant on Make Me A Supermodel. Rachel Hunter: "Emily, I'm sorry. We can't make you a supermodel. Please leave the house... and go and do something more worthwhile like join Client". The new album Heartland has been put back a month and is now out on 30th April. Here's a little taster from it:

Lights Go Out - Client (mp3)

MARSHEAUX
This Greek duo I found at Secrets Online, the Human League forum and over on their Myspace there's a freedownload of their cover of The League's Empire State Human. Marsheux have a real affection for the genre, and the new stuff is a strong progression from the excellent first album Ebay Queen (2004). Here's a song from then:

Computer Love - Marsheaux (mp3)

And here's their latest track Hanging On.

I love the 'lady love' story and the cool feel to the vid. They're popular enough in Greece, but I really hope they make their mark internationally with this new album Peekaboo. There's a really sweet cover of one of my favourite New Order songs Regret, on there. Buy it here and hear streaming tracks.



KARIN STROM
I love this line from her biog: "She locked herself in a studio and fell in love with synthesizer sounds". It conjures up images of Karin going all purry in a tiny studio over a fat juicy bass and razor sharp chords. I love the Bjorkian pic above: being attacked by the three 'mice' whilst doing her coloureds wash. Mad as a hatstand. Here's a gorgeously atmospheric track which reminds me of early Human League...

Klaustrofobi - Karin Strom (mp3)

Snow business

"High on a hill was a... oops, sozz! Wrong song!"

"Can someone turn the heating down? I'm bloody roasting"

I love these shots of the Scissor Sisters in action at the 'says what it does on the tin' Top Of The Mountain show in Ischgl, Austria. After months of looking out over same-same hangar-type venues, this view must be a blessed relief for the constantly touring band.
Thanks to Arjan for the link!

Stick to the (French) B.E.A.T.

Summer's here! Well, with this tune it is. SIART first got me onto this track a few weeks ago and I've found myself looking for it when the sun comes out - which these days in London is nearly *gasp* every day - so I've been playing it a lot. It's such an 'up' tune with its Sesame Street type vocals over the very (French) dirty bass and sampled disco strings.

Nice song, shame about the face.

Justice are shaping up to be the Hot Chip de jour over the summer. They have numerous festival appearances lined up and this track is gaining loads of airplay at the moment. They're another French electronic duo (comprised of Gaspard Augé and Xavier de Rosnay) with a knack for the perfect tune. Whether or not they can buck the trend and translate that across a whole album (coming up in June) is anyone's guess. They've been knocking around for a few years under the auspices of (ironically) Daft Punk's manager and head of Ed Banger records, Pedro Winter, but got a name for themselves with their remix of Simian's Never Be Alone. Just for now though, everybody, please be upstanding and do the D.A.N.C.E.
D.A.N.C.E. - Justice (mp3)

This must be the place I waited years to leave

Or so I imagine most people in Swindon must think to themselves on a day-to-day basis. I used to have to 'pass through' once a month on the way to not-much-better Gloucester. It's the kind of place I imagine invented Ginster's pasties, B&Qs and BBQ Sauce. So to see there's something to look forward to on June 7th at The Oasis Centre (a common name for 'leisure centres' and NOT named after the Manchester knobheads) is heartening and probably a tonic for the people of Swindon.

Buffalo Mozzarella Stance

So, one of my favourite popsters has a legit job on telly. Neneh Cherry's doing a cookery programme! There's no measuring or timing of the food, more the licking of spoons and fingers with loads of "Ooohs" and "Aaaahs", but at least on Neneh and Andi Dish It Up it looks authentic. She and Andi Oliver, (they met in Rip, Rig and Panic and Andi is a BBC London stalwart) have an easy on-screen thang going on and they do genuinely know their onions, but if I see one more London market portrayed as THE place to get PROPER food where EVERYONE is as chirpy as a sparrow on heat, I'll have to stick a pinapple up my arse AND enjoy it.

This week's show they cooked up a very tasty looking roasted garlic chicken (with blood red oranges and cheapo champagne no less), shrimp fritters and coconut ice-cream... for 25. 25? 25!!?? I know they've both got loads of friends but that was reeedickulous. Who, for a start, has oven space for 7 whole chickens. Like I said earlier, it 'looks' authentic.

BTW. I did enjoy the show!!

Here's a lovely Neneh track from her man-baiting album, Man, from a few years ago:
Feel It - Neneh Cherry (mp3)
Although these days, the only 'feeling it' will be the feeling of potatoes down at Borough Farmer's Market.

Un oeuf is un oeuf!

That's it then, Easter's over. It's been a fabulous four day break, now fuck off back to work, you shysters!

I love Easter. It's the first big holiday to loosen those valves after Christmas and the first real Bank Holiday Weekend of the year. No one really knows what to do with it though. If the weather's fantastic - like it was in London - everyone walks around with a gormless smile on their blessed chops going "This is great. And we do what?". And the parks? Full of people getting into breathing difficulties trying out the 'spring air'.

No one's really got their act together wardrobe-wise. Last year's spring/summer stuff gets an airing but looks very out of place with the black skinnies and black bomber jackets. But for those brave enough to show a bit of flesh, a medal and a little tip: the purple-veined Pete Doherty look isn't going to take off.

Anyhoo, along with the warmer weather (we're currently basking in 20 degree Cs of sunnyshine) here's a few NEW TUNES currently tickling my iPod.


Rapture - Dub Pistols Feat. Terry Hall (mp3)
Yes! THE Terry Hall of The Colourfield fame! And, er, smaller bands like The Specials and Funboy Three. Alongside the stoner's favourite dubmeister, Barry Ashworth, Terry does a very languid, gorgeous (and funny) version of the Blondie classic.


Sorry - Kaskade (mp3)
I love the heart-felt melody in this sweepy dance track from the American DJ/Producer (aka Ryan Raddon). The Bold and Beautiful!


Just Hold Me - Maria Mena (mp3)
She's from Norway and she's only 21! Gulp. I love the fractured vocals and strings going ninety to the dozen.

It's like a big movement after being egg-bound

FUNNY WOMEN PLAYING FUNNY OLDER WOMEN PART 2
Caroline Aherne as Mrs Merton: "Lisa, we love you because you've done so well. You and little Mick Hucknall. You know, two scrag ends made good. Aren't ya..."

Name? Ruby Romaine. Like the lettuce.

FUNNY WOMEN PLAYING FUNNY OLDER WOMEN PART 1 Tracey Ullman as Ruby Romaine: "Anyhoo, I was enjoying the ride, er, you know, just minding my own bees wax when all of a sudden I was blinded by a very bright light that kinda just exploded in front of me... so I says to little Greenie..."

No apologies

A huge heads up to Mr Jason D'Luv on Chart Rigger for the report on Timbaland's new album Shock Value. I doubt I would have gone to iTunes to have a listen had it not been for his posting. And I doubt I would have heard the Apologize track until it was played on the radio or TV or something.

What is it about certain songs that grab you straight away and you KNOW they will be a favourite for years to come? If I had the answer, I'd be banging my own versions out every week.

Anyhoo, a band I know nothing about, OneRepublic wrote this track with Timbaland, and, U2 pretensions aside, have produced a gorgeous anthemic sound with a pop spin. And without demeaning Apologize it actually wouldn't sound amiss in boyband V's repertoire.

This track will probably be a single, so enjoy it before it's played to within an inch of its life! And for the pedantic amongst us, it's Apologise with an 's'.

Apologize - Timbaland feat. OneRepublic (mp3)
Indestructable - V (mp3)

The magic playlist

Actually, I'm not talking about the Magic FM playlist but the once giant Capital 95.8. After a heavy knock in radio listener figures, where they went from the number 1 to the number 4 station in London they seem to have ditched the dance pop circa 1993 playlist (Loveland! Alison Limerick!! N-Trance!!!) and are now rotating Patrick Wolf (!), Mutya Buena (!!) and Siobhan Donaghy (!!!).

The best thing is, these tracks sound FAB on a chart hits station. To hear anodyne DJ, James Cannon, (hopefully the next thing to be booted out) say about The Magic Position: "Sounds like a grrrreat band from the 80s. Anyone remember Aztec Camera?" and Don't Give Up sandwiched between Gwen Stefani and Nelly Furtado all sounds very wrong, but very right!

And so I'm back...

I just popped out for a bit, just to see what was going on in the real world... I stayed at The Hoxton Hotel on Wednesday night - just five minutes down the road. It cost a fortune! Not. We had a gorgeous double room for the princely sum of £1.00.

By the time we had our free copy of The Guardian newspaper (70p) and the two free Pret A Manger breakfasts in the morning (£3.00 each), we'd worked out that they had paid us £2.85 each to stay there. What a bargain!

Get on the mailing list for the future offers. Every so often, they'll email an offer of nearly 2,000 rooms over a month or so at this gloriously ridiculous price. Sniiiippp!

The 7 one-hit wonders...

...of my world, at least.


The criteria is: I only ever listen to one track of theirs and LOVE it; and there has to have been enough time passed for a decent follow-up but they haven't managed to. A couple of the acts, Ben & Jason and Dirty Vegas had entire albums of material to get into, but I couldn't. I only have ears for the tracks below.

In alphabetical order:

1) Ben & Jason - The Wild Things (mp3)
2) Damage - Ghetto Romance (mp3)
3) Dirty Vegas - Days Go By (mp3)
4) Galleon - So I Begin (mp3)
5) Grand Popo Football Club - Men Are Not Nice Guys (mp3)
6) Lene Marlin - Unforgivable Sinner (mp3)
7) Juliet - Avalon (mp3)

The Notorious Mr Crisp

Quentin Crisp does make great soundbite. But of course he was more than that. The word legacy is the first that springs to mind. Gorgeous old puff are another three. And according to Grand Dame himself, he was "born reluctantly on Christmas day in 1908", to his "dismay" he found himself to be "the son of a middle-class middle-brow, middling parents who lived in Sutton".

Near the end of his life, he was still as dryly self deprecating by describing himself on income tax forms as a "retired waif".

A Quentin Crisp ringtone

Well, you could use it as a ringtone, or you could just play it for a quick cheer up on a Monday evening.

(By the way, the pic on the right is of Mr Crisp).

Quentin Crisp (download)

Random Treats Pt. 3

It was 1998 and I had just spent an excruciating year or so working in an office WITHOUT MUSIC. It was awful. If anyone spoke about the latest thing music-wise I was clueless; I felt like I was constantly pulling at other people's sleeves going "Whaaaaat?". And being in an office without music makes you aware of every IRRITATING office noise. Just attune yourself to the mouse clicks and you'll see exactly what I mean. Click, click, clickety, click, clickety. Like battery hens mad on Pro Plus.

That's why, when I found myself in an office with the radio on, it was like being pulled out from under a stone. These days I'm so blasé about having the radio on permanently, I can slag it off. Daily rants about Jo Whiley (Radio 1's mid-morning comatose DJ) is a jolly sport I'd highly recommend. And smelly old Edith Bowman with her rubbish features is a particular favourite. A friend of mine once emithered her during the show to ask, quite rightly, why on earth they were talking to an Elton John look-a-like... on the radio. Bowman replied, "Use your bloody imagination", to which my friend emailed back "Don't you swear at me, madam. I pay your wages!". How we laughed.

Then there's the dreaded 'playlist'. Radio 1, whilst to be commended for playing music other stations wouldn't touch with a shitty stick, still has a size zero playlist: skinny and slim pickings to be had! It always starts the eternal office argument about which station to have on when, inevitably, you've heard Keane/Coldplay/Black Eyed Peas/Natasha Bedingfield for the 57th time that day, only to switch over to, say, XFM and find that you'll hear The View/The Fray/Just Jack and Paolo "One for the laydeez" Nutini 57 times that day.

Anyhoo, all of which brings me to Random Treat pt. 3. A track on perma-repeat on every playlist when I came out from under said stone was this one, Legend of a Cowgirl by Imani Coppola (no relation). There's a bit of cheating going on with the huge cut and paste job on the original Donovan track (no I didn't know it either until the Magmers Cider ads last summer) but with lyrics like "Spend all my money on absolutely nothing, 'cos there ain't no thing like a chicken wing" and her genuine kookiness, I love it. Head over to her myspace where she's still banging out the tunes and there's a download available of a lovely ditty called Desert of a Jungle (which I'm sure is a cut 'n' paste of some classical thang). Enjoy.
Imani Coppola - Legend of a Cowgirl (mp3 download)